What the hell?

I'm gonna write in red today just cause. So, I woke up today and mind you, I woke up early. You see the time? I'm never up this early. It's crippling me as we speak. I feel a piece of me is still asleep but I'm up now. No turning back at this point. What's done is done. It is what it is. You know what I'm saying? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!...Ahem..-__- So moving on. I look at my computer screen after I come from the bathroom and my Itunes is up and it says something about this phone has been synced before with Itunes somewhere blah blah dee blah. And I'm like what the fuuuuu--. If my phone erased all its contents, I will destroy it and anything around. Complete mutilation. So, I go through my phone and everytings there so I'm like ???. So, I click on restore phone from back up because apparently, Itunes is so retarded that it thinks my phone is brand new with nothing on it. It then proceeds to freeze and die. So, that was that. I closed it. End of story. This is why I hate using Itunes. It's not smart enough for me. So, my wife hasn't hit me up in like a day now. It kind of sucks when you know nothing about what's going on and you don't know whether to worry or to immediately blame it on her lack of focus and squirrel like attention span. I can't be mad at her. She doesn't know any better and she's quite the ass herself so even if I was mad at her, which I have been before, she'll just ignore it either because she's afraid to deal with it or just doesn't care. I for one, think that she just needs better people skills but so do I so I can't fault her on that either. So, my ex called me last night to apologize for calling me the night before...Are you lost too? I mean, I guess I should explain my ex to you before I start diving into things that she does. To be honest, I've had quite a few ex's but as far as annoyance, she takes the cake, I believe. We dated less than 3 months. She was a number of things while we dated. Evol. Harsh. Smug. Bitchy. Mean. Spiteful. Childish. Immature. I could go on for days but I won't. That would be a pretty long ass blog. Anyway. Apparently, I'm an untrustworthy individual. Now do I seem like I can't be trusted? Like you'd know anyway! Shut up! Just kidding. But yeah. When I was back in Jersey, we were together but I can't lie, I never developed strong feelings for her and at 3 months I wasn't sure if we could go on with me kind of disliking most things about her. And when we started dating, I probably wasn't over my ex, but then I realized I was and wanted to be single because the relationship I was in had no future. Am I wrong for ending things? I think I was pretty awesome for ending things. Pretty proud of myself for that. I could've strung her along for months and months, years even. I mean, she was in love with me and probably still is somewhere deep down inside, so I could have just stayed with her and played with her emotions like that. Does that sound like a good thing to do to someone? Knowingly? Anyway, sometime before or after our 3 months, I decided I was moving to Cali. So obviously, this would put a strain on any relationship. Living 3000 miles away from someone is hard especially when you'd rather be out mingling. So, it became a problem for her. She got scared. She's insecure like that with me for some reason. Apparently I'm irresistible in her eyes. Ha. So, she broke up with me and I thought Ha, here's my out. I know, it's really crappy to think that when someone breaks up with you but Hey, what can I say. I did want out. But the thing about that is, she asked me back out the next day. Now, I was in quite the predicament. I said no, obviously because it was not what I wanted but apparently, it devastated her. I didn't get it. How can you break up with someone and then get upset if they don't take you back when you change your mind. You broke up the relationship! It's your fault. But anyway. In a way, I felt bad because had I wanted her, we would have been back together in an instant and I was certain that she thought we would be. So, we were done but still treated each other like spouses. Jealousy still comes even with people you don't really want. Which I find stupid. Such a horrible emotion to feel. But anyway, when it came time for me to move to Cali, I packed up and left. Left it all behind but we kept talking. And at some point, I think that whole 'My ex annoys the crap out of me' phase kicked in. Everything she did was just horrible. She said hi, I was like Who the fuuuuu--- says hi AT 2:30 IN THE AFTERNOON....Bastard. I mean, I can admit, she was annoying me for reasons that shouldn't even be annoying. I felt a slight hatred for her existence at that time. It was sad. And she kept asking me, why do you keep getting annoyed by me? And I was like I don't know. If I tell you, you'll get mad. She's like no, I won't. I promise. And as smart as I am, I fell for it. But I knew deep down that she still would. So, I told her that everything she did annoyed me and I didn't know why. She got mad at me and like signed off of Facebook all fast. I was like Wow. Promise BreakerER! So we stopped talking for like 4 months. I deleted her off of Facebook and moved on with my life. I honestly could have cared less. I still wanted an out. Her attitude is always too much for me. So, she sends me random texts like Oh I heard about a flood in Jersey, just checking on you. Smh. I told her I was fine and left it alone. A couple months later, more recently, she sends me a text on her birthday, which I forgot...Yeah, pretty horrible friend I am. So she says oh my friends told me to text someone I haven't talked to in a while. And I was like what the fuuuu---. Theres a reason for that, don't you remember? It really irritated me. If you want to talk, be straight forward. Don't send stupid texts about nothing to see if I respond how you want. It's like we're back in middle school or something. So, I ask her. We get into this big argument and then make up and become friends again. Since then, we've had 3535354535 fights. And I'm not even exaggerating. Okay, I am. But still, we've fought a lot. All we ever do is fight and I'm not going to point any fingers. But it's HER fault. Just kidding, but seriously...Anyway. I know why we fight. Because she's very sensitive and a bitch at the same time. I don't have the patience for people who want me to cater to their needs but won't even cater to a simple need of mine. But since I don't really have needs that revolve around sensitivity, it becomes a huge battle of, why? Why do I need to walk on egg shells around you when I speak when you can say whatever you want to me and I won't be upset? It's hard. Way too hard for us to be friends but she constantly wants to be and I constantly don't care. Just the other day we fought about the word Jesus and if me saying the word Jesus offends you at all....Wait, what was I going to say? Anyway. I said Jesus in a text and she said don't say that. I said why? She said because it's disrespectful. I said why? She said because it is how I was raised. I said okay but WHY is it disrespectful, period? She wouldn't answer and kept saying it was how she was raised and for me to be tolerant of her beliefs. And of course, I debate things. I wanted her to explain to me the exact reasons because although I'm Christian, we weren't that religious growing up. We went to church every Sunday as children but when we grew up, we had freedom to form our own opinions about religion and I appreciated that. So, I ask her this question for her to tell me the reasoning and she gets mad and starts a fight and gets all heated and mad because she had anger management problems and I honestly think if I was near her when we argue, she'd probably stab me a few times. That's real honesty, not a joke. But it's funny though. And I laugh at her sometimes when she gets so angry because it's over the smallest things. And I know it's evol of me to laugh at her but I laugh when I'm nervous and her anger makes me nervous in a happy sort of way. But anyway, I ask her, we fight, she never answers, I google it and Bam. I get it, just don't neccessarily agree with it 100% if I may say without being struck down. So, I questioned her. Why is it okay for her to stifle my thoughts and opinions but it's not okay for me to speak freely around her? And if she's so religious and believer of the bible then why does she sleep around? Okay, I won't say she sleeps around, but she fears love so...she kind of does. She's never slept with a person she's been in love with. So, that says a lot. Not in a judgmental way though. Humans sleep around. It's what we do. We, not meaning me, because I don't. Ever! But, if she does that, I still accept her, but I doubt she accepts me for me. So anywaaay, enough about our back story. That's her. That's what she's about. Back to what I started with probably hours ago now. She calls me two nights ago drunk. Now, I've always hated the fact that she gets stupidly drunk for no reason. I guess cause it's fun. Whoopty Doo. You can drink. Congratulations. I've drank a little in my life but not nearly as much as she has. And it was like an every day thing for her which I don't get. That's borderline alcoholic, isn't it? Anyway, a long time ago, she called me drunk and cursed me out for no reason. From that moment on, I told her, don't call me drunk. Don't text me drunk. Don't even think about calling me after you've been drinking. Just don't. So she calls me drunk two nights ago. Tells me to talk to her until she falls asleep. Tells me she only ate chips and some candy and then went out drinking. And then tells me to come up with a topic and if not then she's going to hang up. So we almost get into it that night because I say something and she immediately says I don't want to do this with you tonight. I don't want to argue and I'm thinking, who's arguing? I hate it when I say something and I'm totally calm and someone says, calm down or I don't want to do this. If you'd STFU and stop jumping to conclusions, we wouldn't. Deal? Okay so, we hang up. She calls me last night to apologize and talk. And I'm like cool. But then my food came and I told her I had to go. Good day sir! Then I spent the night being bored. That was it. And now I'm awake long before my time to be awake. Nap? Yes, I do believe I would like to take one of those. Good day all. Good day!